


Alone and Lost

by Kawaiicoyote



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cutting, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Pack Family, Pack Feels, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaiicoyote/pseuds/Kawaiicoyote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Around the pack he feels so alone and lost. A drifter that can’t find a home. It makes him feel numb.<br/>The blade at his wrists and the warm drip of blood that splashes onto his jeans and the bottom of the tub makes him feel something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone and Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Largely inspired by the song Echo by Jason Walker.  
> Isaac makes me have so many feels, I just want to hug him forever.  
> This idea wriggled it's way into my head and this is the end result. 
> 
> Un-beta'd... oops.

He sits at the bottom of the tub, the shower curtain drawn shut tightly to keep from getting the white tiled floor wet.

He’s still in his clothes, not even bothering to take off his shoes or socks, his drenched long sleeves shoved and bunched to his elbows.

The water falls down from the showerhead in an ice cold cascade, his lips blue from it and body trembling, his breath just visible.

In Isaac’s grasp is a red stained blade, barely holding onto it by the tips of his fingers.

His breath is shallow and quiet as he listens to the sounds around him. The sound of the frigid water surrounds him; he wishes it would make him feel clean. But instead it just makes him feel dirtier.

Just over that he can hear the steady heartbeats of his pack mates. All are slow within their sleep, but if he was to listen closely he could hear the one heartbeat that was faster than the rest. The heartbeat of their alpha, who even in sleep is never able to completely rest.

Isaac lets his legs slowly slide out along the tub and lazily pulls a hand up to push his soaked hair away from his face.

He stares at the blade in his grasp and his chin trembles as he starts to drag the cold edge of it along his wrists. The pain is instant and acute and it brings hot tears to his eyes. It grounds him and lets him know he can still feel.

Around the pack he feels so alone and lost. A drifter that can’t find a home. It makes him feel numb.

The blade at his wrists and the warm drip of blood that splashes onto his jeans and the bottom of the tub makes him feel something.

He leans back and watches as the blood drips, then gradually it slows, the skin repairing itself and not leaving to much as a scratch behind. No matter how much he cuts he always heals and in the back of him mind he thinks that just makes him want to cut more, to see if one day it will finally leave a scar.

It never does.

He’s only left with the memory, an echo of the pain in his mind.

It’s only when he’ shaking too hard from the cold to hold the tiny razor blade does he turn off the water. He doesn’t bother toweling off, just shoves the blade into the soggy jeans pocket and crosses to the door. The hallway is clear and it takes him only a few quick strides to make it to his room.

Isaac doesn’t bother to change into dry clothes or get under the covers. He just climbs onto the middle of the bed, curling up into a tight shivering ball and closes his eyes, waiting for sleep to consume him.

His eyes blink open, disoriented, when the bed dips behind him and solid warmth curls up tightly against his back. Isaac tries to roll away from the closeness but a slender arm wraps around him and Erica pulls him tight.

He closes his eyes when another body climbs onto the bed but this time in front of him, a heavy arm looping around him over Erica’s and presses close.

Isaac whines and buries his face into Boyd’s chest. The older beta hushes him and nuzzles against his hair while Erica strokes her thumb over his wrist knowingly.

The golden pup doesn’t even try to keep it together as they cradle him between him. Hot tears flow from his eyes, his whole body trembling.

Neither says anything, just continue to hold him.

Isaac tenses when he feels Erica’s questing fingers at his pocket. He can feel when her nails scrape against the flat metal in his pocket and she whines mournfully as she pulls it from his jeans, tossing it away carelessly from the bed and then she’s back against him, curling around him tighter and breathing against the back of his neck.

He can feel his heart breaking and healing as the other betas hold him. It’s only times like these that he realizes he’s not alone.

When a blanket suddenly falls over them he glances over in time to see Derek’s retreating form ad swallows thickly around the lump that’s forming in his throat again.

Isaac closes his eyes tightly and burrows closer to the other betas, grasping at the thought that might keep him grounded.

He is pack.

He is not alone.

He is loved.

He is cared for even by their Alpha.

Isaac repeats these thoughts like a mantra until he finally falls asleep. Hoping that the thoughts will keep him better grounded than cold metal against his skin.


End file.
